Okay remember to not sing 'Live, Laugh, Toaster Bath' at school today
...is not something I ever envisioned I'd say to my kids but here we are. My kids are currently obsessed with WSTR's newest single and honestly I couldn't be more proud.
I love that my kids have latched onto the music that shaped who their mom and dad are. Each kid has their own specific taste, but there's no denying they're little emos in the making.
My oldest is 9 and like a typical first born, he's a pretty emotional little guy. He has seemed to gravitate toward the more emo, specifically Midwest emo, track. With bands like Hot Mulligan, Ben Quad, and Good Hangs on his playlist, the dude is cooked already. I once caught him watching Hot Mulligan music videos on YouTube after school. Just one right after the other. I didn’t know whether to be worried or proud when he told me his favorite Hot Mully song was "Stickers of Brian."
My youngest is 4 and she is my mini. Like a typical second born, she's a spitfire. She tends to gravitate toward higher energy, bouncy pop punk. She runs on vibes only. Songs like "All My Friends" by A Day to Remember, "731" by Belmont, and "Everybody Hates Me" by Cheer Up Dusty. And while my oldest gravitates toward the whiny Good Hangs songs like "I Only Do Pushups When I'm Drunk", my youngest wants "Shoot Our Way Out" on full volume. Same band, completely different energies. I made that.
It warms my heart in a way that's hard to explain. This music saved me at several points in my life and watching my kids connect with it as deeply as I do is something I didn't know I needed until it was happening.
As a therapist I know exactly what I'm doing when I put this music on in our house. I'm building anchors for them the same way this music accidentally built them for me. Except now I'm doing it on purpose, with intention, because I understand what it does. If life ever gets loud or hard or overwhelming and they need somewhere to land, I want the music to be there waiting for them.
I strive to be the best parent I can be but no one is perfect and I make mistakes. I'll continue to make mistakes because that's what parenting is, learning as you go. I want to be someone my kids can come to for anything, but I'm not naive. I never want them to feel alone. And if they can't come to me for some reason, I'm glad they'll have the music to fall back on.
So yeah, I'm the mom who has to remind her kid not to sing about toaster baths at school. I'm also the mom who knows exactly what she's doing when she puts on a playlist in the car. Because beyond the bangers and the chaos and the absolute unhinged song titles, this music teaches kids something really important. It normalizes emotions. It models vulnerability. It says that being a sensitive, feeling human being is not a character flaw.
So as an elder emo therapist and a parent, I’m building anchors for my kids. I’m raising emotionally available little humans while also trying to keep the scene alive.
You're welcome, kids.